About a week ago, me, my aunt and her friends went to go see Sony's latest installment to their Spider-Man franchise that wishes it could be Spider-Verse, Madame Web. The film centers on Cassandra Webb, a paramedic who finds out she's psychic after a near-death experience. She soon takes on the task of protecting 3 teenage girls from the wrath of Ezekiel Sims, another clairvoyant whose been having visions of the 3 girls (whom by the way are destined to become Spider-Women) murdering him. The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory, the movie was awful. So here's why it's awful.
Starting with the plot: we do not give a crap about any of these characters. I understand that this was an introduction to them, but the writing for these characters was so bland and so generic. Also, why did these characters have to be the center of the story? The saddest thing about the story is that it could've worked if so much more interesting characters were at the center of it. Ben and Mary Parker (AKA: Uncle Ben and Peter Parker's mother; whom the latter was pregnant with during the film) were secondary characters of the film and the film could've done so much more with their characters then just small little references to their future. I heard a rumor from a critique video on this movie that Peter Parker was originally supposed to be the one who needed protection (link down below). That would've worked so much better as people actually care about Peter and Mary and Ben's involvement would have an actual reason to be there instead of being just nostalgia bait. That also would've been a great way to get to know these new characters of the screen. Develop a relationship with them instead of forcing them on us. No one even tried with the dialogue of this film. The dialogue was either cheesy, trying to hard to be funny, or was just bland. There were also certain plotlines that were never resolved, other plotlines were too rushed (the Peru storyline for example) and the lead protagonist did things with those kids that no responsible adult would ever do. The movie was also anticipating things in the trailer that never actually happened in the movie. For example: the future Spider-Women never even got their powers or were referred to as their alter-egos ever. It was ridiculous.
The acting was atrocious. They all had terrible chemistry and you can tell that none of them wanted to be there at all. And there is some talent in this movie (Adam Scott, Sydney Sweeney, etc), but they all had little to nothing to work with. Hell, a good majority of them looked bored and/or annoyed. I wouldn't blame them, I wouldn't wanna be part of this crap either.
The visuals and overall set design looked like something you would see in a tv show. Considering the director behind this movie is known for her work on Jessica Jones, that's not really a surprise. The superheroine costumes look cheap as Hell and were never even used to their full potential in the film. And Why The HELL Does The Bad Guy's Costume Look Like Miles?! That PISSED ME OFF!😡
The only positive about this movie was some of the action sequences as well as the premonitions. I felt they were decently done and wasted in this movie.
But yeah, the movie sucked, and we all knew it would. The link to the video I mentioned is down below if anyone would like to see. Thanks for reading.
Beyond The Trailer Madame Web Review Link- 24:46
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